Saturday, July 23, 2011

One Hundred Percent........?

One thing I know is that I don't get involved in things 100%  and I've been questioning myself as to why. I've had horses, but I didn't do "horse" stuff 100% - I tried, but it costs money, I had a bunch of difficult horses, and I didn't have money to take lessons or get a great horse with tons of training under him.

I started agility with my dog.  He loved it at first.  Then after awhile, we both got tired of it.  He acted like, "I did it once, wasn't it good enough?  Why do you keep asking me to do it over and over?"

I used to crochet.  I used to make my own greeting cards.  I used to make rhythm beads for horses and sell them.  I don't do any of that anymore.

I weave.  I don't weave 100% of my free time.  I don't make money weaving.  I enjoy weaving, but I don't do it 100%.

I don't play sports.  I don't work out.  I don't consider myself very good at most things.

I don't throw myself into anything 100% .  I wonder if I'm strange.  People I know do things 100%, but I don't.  People quilt - they quilt a LOT.  If they sew, they sew a LOT.  If they are dog people, they do their dog stuff ALL the time.  Like, their lives evolve around it.

I wonder why I feel like I don't have anything I do 100%.  Well, there is one thing..........I eat.  Too much.

I often wonder why I'm not passionate about any one thing.  I have yet, at 55 years old, to figure this out.  I don't have a passion for ANYTHING in particular.  Well, I am passionate about my granddaughter, but, I can't be involved in her life the way I'd like to be.  I live too far away.  Mind you, I KNOW I don't have the energy or ability to babysit her every day - I know physically I couldn't do it.  That really bothers me too. 

I'm supposed to be getting another loom.  A Wolf Pup LT.  I am getting it from someone in PA.  They offered it up for sale, I told her I wanted it.  Then I told her I couldn't get it.  Then I told her I could, but then she told me she offered it up to someone else, then recently she contacted me and told me that she had it up for sale again and wondered if I wanted it.  I said yes.  Then had to convince hubby that I deserve it.  Really?  Why?  I don't deserve it.  I just WANT it.  Selfish, yes.  I do really want this loom.  We were trying to sell a saddle.  The saddle sold - but now I have to wait , until the government approves the budget and we make sure we're getting the money from hubby's retired military pay.  

By the way, our truck decided to almost blow up.  Hubby was driving it, and it started shaking and by the time he got it home, it was smoking.  AAA had to come get it and tow it to the Ford Dealership.  Who the heck knows how much THAT'S going to cost......and there goes the money that will come in from the sold saddle, that was supposed to be for my Pup.  Selfish, yes. 


Last night I told hubby I didn't want to go out today.  So this morning comes and I'm upstairs starting to sley the reed, and what does hubby do?  Comes and says he has to go to the city to get his hair cut (it was really long).  Of course, I ended up going with him.  When we got home, I did get the reed sleyed.  Tomorrow morning I will thread the heddles.  I'm using a 6 dent reed.  Borrowed the 8 dent from my friend, but I felt the yarn was really rubbing too much and I didn't want to ruin the yarn.  So I decided to use the 6 dent.  We'll see how it goes.  I hope it turns out well, I hope that it is ok for the exchange.  I am too full and fat to thread the heddles tonight.  Too much bending at the waist on a full stomach -- not good.

I also had to do some maneuvering to get the yarn the way it needed to be.  Since when I started, I thought I was going to use a 10 dent reed, I had wound way more than I ended up needing.  I very carefully took off the rest of the leftover warp yarn, and I had to cut so that it would separate from the parts I left IN the reed.  It'll be interesting if I ever try to use that for another warp. 

This shawl will be a lot wider than I intended but I think a wide shawl is very nice.  If this does not turn out well, I'll use 5/2 and make the shawl out of cotton and use a pattern.  I have time - I have only one appointment planned for the next 2 weeks.  Nothing else as far as commitments.  That is on purpose.  I want to try to get into a routine of doing stuff that I NEED to do --- like exercising.  I want to weave every day.  I need to make a routine or I won't do it.

Over and Out...........................

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