I have this issue. I want things I can't always have. I have to learn to be good, and not want so much, and not feel the need to join the party so to speak. I tend to get involved in stuff, and if I can't do what others are doing (money, time, energy, etc) then I get frustrated and I am feeling left out.
I don't think everyone goes thru this, but maybe I'm wrong?
I'm going to be 56 this year (holy moly) and I feel like I've never found the reason for "being." I never found what I was supposed to be when I grew up. I don't know what my "calling" is.
I don't feel like this all the time. I just feel like this now and then. Usually because something sparks the feelings. This time, it's because there is a dog thing happening next week. I can't go. It's close enough to drive back and forth (40 mins each way which is nothing out here); there are still openings in the camp. But it's expensive. Tuition is $675. Ouch. Not only that, but I'd have to stay there (another $500 or so). Not only is the money an issue, but I'd be going, with one dog, and leaving the other dog and hubby home alone. Not fair. Oh, and I would have to cancel babysitting my grand daughter that week too.
My plan is to save up. There is an adult 2.5 day camp in October. It's still a lot of $ - $325. But ya know, I can do that - drive back and forth, be home at night, and hopefully learn a lot. Then, possibly, I can save up for the Spring camp next April. We'll see......
Meanwhile, I'm keeping very busy. I've been going out to the dog trainer's place every chance I can - which means the weather has to be cool enough and dry enough - and I let the dogs run. Gabbi LOVES going out (Gabbi is the little one - Maltese), but she's only happy if it's she and Evan. When the other dogs are out there, she gets frightened, and stays very close to me, and wants me to carry her sometimes.
We've also joined the gym - I haven't BEEN there yet, but I know the gym. It's the one I had a lot of success at in 2007 - when I lost 35 lbs and then had my heart attack. It has taken me this long to get over that - it's been a huge hurtle for me.
I went to the dr last week, got blood work done, and it was sent to me. Everything is really normal - like, perfect blood work. How does someone as overweight as I am (I'm considered obese) have blood work that looks THAT good???? There was one little thing - my CO2 level is a bit below the normal low. Interesting - CO2 - do you remember what that is? Carbon Dioxide. Huh. So at some point I'll ask the doc what that could mean. I did some research online - interesting stuff - but I'm not going to get all hung up about it.
It's almost April. At the end of April, I go back to the GYN oncologist for my six month checkup - can't believe it's been only 7 months since my surgery.
So, tho I have no photos this go round, I had a lot to mumble about, huh? Just had to get some thoughts out of my brain and onto black and white.......................
And trying to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up.....................
Hope your life is super duper!
Always,
Martha
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Brain Fog?
This is what our mornings have looked like all week:
This is Blue. In the fog. Blue. in. the. fog......
Bridget. In. The. Fog
And this is what it looks like from my front porch. There is a road out there somewhere.....beyond the fog.
Foggy mornings sometimes create a foggy brain for me..........
This is what the foggy mornings have turned into:
Which is the same view, from my front porch, as the one just above! Big difference, eh?
Here are some good Spring things!
The hyacinths smell SOOOO good -Here - take a sniff!!!!!!!!!!
We worked on putting in a nicer front walkway. Ever since we've lived here, I wondered why there wasn't a sidewalk or walkway of some sort, from the front porch to the driveway. The wet weather we've had for the last year, totally frustrated me. It took some work and sweat from both hubby and I but we worked together, and got it done, and it's SO nice. Except next time, I would not put sand in between the blocks - I'd put little tiny stones. The sand gets all over the shoes especially in this foggy, damp weather. But at least I can get to the car from the house, without my shoes getting full of MUD and wet red clay - which does not come out of anything no matter what you do! Especially white leather sneakers.
It's so much more inviting now.
The next thing I want to do is get the front porch sanded, and either stained or painted. I'm thinking of taking those rails down, and putting up screens. I'd have to frame the screens out and put them up and then probably still put some sort of rail there - wouldn't want anyone falling thru! The stupid part is, those spaces between the beams are not even. The person that built this house did some strange things. Anyway, I'm one to figure the problems out, then over come them, as opposed to Hubby who likes to avoid issues like that. But see how nice the front walk is? It has taken me YEARS (7) to get to this point. It was NOT hard. It just took some work. There used to be five sets of those blocks right in front of the steps (now there are three rows), so we shrunk the amount of rows of blocks in front, and dug a pathway to put them in to lead out the gate. We didn't have to buy anything but the sand that went in between! Win win! I just hope they don't get all wonky like they did when Hubby first put the rows in, in front of the steps. If they do, we'll have to do something about it. I don't want anyone to trip and fall!
So there is my blog post for today. Not anything exciting. I haven't really DONE anything exciting, but this is my life.
I have worked on a quilt top, which is done except for ironing the seams. I ironed them open this time, because I want to see how it turns out. This is going to be a quilt to sell. I have to order the fabric for the backing, or try to find it locally. I should make some phone calls today to see if any of the local quilt shops carry the fabric.
I have volunteering this afternoon with Evan at hospital and I need to get him brushed out and bathed. We've been doing a lot at the dog trainers and walking a lot over there, so he's pretty dirty!
Hope you all have a wonderful day today. I'm hoping the sun comes back out today!
Always,
Martha
 |
| Fresh spring grass |
Bridget. In. The. Fog
 |
| Don't bother me, I'm eating! |
 |
| Road? What road? |
And this is what it looks like from my front porch. There is a road out there somewhere.....beyond the fog.
Foggy mornings sometimes create a foggy brain for me..........
This is what the foggy mornings have turned into:
 |
| A clear view |
Here are some good Spring things!
 |
| Spring in a barrel! |
 |
| Mmmmm, they smell so good! |
We worked on putting in a nicer front walkway. Ever since we've lived here, I wondered why there wasn't a sidewalk or walkway of some sort, from the front porch to the driveway. The wet weather we've had for the last year, totally frustrated me. It took some work and sweat from both hubby and I but we worked together, and got it done, and it's SO nice. Except next time, I would not put sand in between the blocks - I'd put little tiny stones. The sand gets all over the shoes especially in this foggy, damp weather. But at least I can get to the car from the house, without my shoes getting full of MUD and wet red clay - which does not come out of anything no matter what you do! Especially white leather sneakers.
 |
| Come on in! |
The next thing I want to do is get the front porch sanded, and either stained or painted. I'm thinking of taking those rails down, and putting up screens. I'd have to frame the screens out and put them up and then probably still put some sort of rail there - wouldn't want anyone falling thru! The stupid part is, those spaces between the beams are not even. The person that built this house did some strange things. Anyway, I'm one to figure the problems out, then over come them, as opposed to Hubby who likes to avoid issues like that. But see how nice the front walk is? It has taken me YEARS (7) to get to this point. It was NOT hard. It just took some work. There used to be five sets of those blocks right in front of the steps (now there are three rows), so we shrunk the amount of rows of blocks in front, and dug a pathway to put them in to lead out the gate. We didn't have to buy anything but the sand that went in between! Win win! I just hope they don't get all wonky like they did when Hubby first put the rows in, in front of the steps. If they do, we'll have to do something about it. I don't want anyone to trip and fall!
So there is my blog post for today. Not anything exciting. I haven't really DONE anything exciting, but this is my life.
I have worked on a quilt top, which is done except for ironing the seams. I ironed them open this time, because I want to see how it turns out. This is going to be a quilt to sell. I have to order the fabric for the backing, or try to find it locally. I should make some phone calls today to see if any of the local quilt shops carry the fabric.
I have volunteering this afternoon with Evan at hospital and I need to get him brushed out and bathed. We've been doing a lot at the dog trainers and walking a lot over there, so he's pretty dirty!
Hope you all have a wonderful day today. I'm hoping the sun comes back out today!
Always,
Martha
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
And so it is..........
Do you ever have those times when things are going along smashingly, and then you hit a speed bump, and it knocks you for a loop? Well, I'm in one of those times. I'm trying not to let it get to me - this too shall pass. I just need to buck up and move on.
Evan had a wonderful time at the clinic this weekend, and so did I. Only trouble now is, he wants to go do this every day --- maybe this dog needs a real job. We all know I do! Haha.
I don't have any photos today. Just too danged tired. Tomorrow when I go to the dog trainer's and I walk with Evan and Gabbi, I'll take the camera and I'll go ahead and try to get some good shots. Spring has sprung. Do you remember a week and a half ago, when I posted about the snow? For a reminder, see here . Yeah, well, today and yesterday it hit 82 degrees. I'm dyin. I can't take this heat - I don't like it, I don't want it ever - but especially in March. Makes me wonder what summer will really be like, and if I'll have to hibernate! It's gonna be hot again tomorrow. Ugh.
I'm tired, not from the time changing - that didn't take me any getting used to at all. I was exhausted from the clinic and I had NO trouble going to sleep early on Saturday night, and had a full day again on Sunday. I didn't sleep so well last night - rode around all day with the windows open and my allergies were killer last night. Oh, and did I mention....we had to turn the AC on??? It's CRAZY!
Sorry, I started ranting again...........
Do you ever look back on things you did in your life, and know that all the "friends" you made during that particular period, no longer want anything to do with you? It's kinda frustrating in a way, but I guess people come and go. There is no telling why they come and go, but I guess when they are meant to be there, they are, and when they aren't they are then gone. It happens...........
And then, I get home and hubby did my laundry. I've been begging him for 36 years, please, do NOT do my laundry. We had this discussion a week ago. It's not like my clothes stink - I don't do anything! But for some reason, even tho I've asked, begged, pleaded, threatened, etc, he still does my laundry. He washes in warm water (but tells me he uses cold), he doesn't hang my shirts up when they come out of the dryer, so they are always wrinkled, and no matter what happens, come a month from now, I'll go to put a shirt on and it will feel too tight and too short even tho it fit me when I bought it. Sigh. What the heck is a woman to do? I'm thinking of getting a laundry basket with a lock on it - think that'll work? Ha! bet not...............
Yeah, I guess I'm in one of those moods today. I was fine this morning...........
Anyway, not much else to report here. I got my magazine that I left behind at daughter's house last week, so I can sit and read that and dream (It's Cloth, Paper, Scissors edition of Studios and it's really cool).
Off to relax.........and decide what to make for dinner. I'm really not hungry (the heat and tired).
Take care.
Martha
Evan had a wonderful time at the clinic this weekend, and so did I. Only trouble now is, he wants to go do this every day --- maybe this dog needs a real job. We all know I do! Haha.
I don't have any photos today. Just too danged tired. Tomorrow when I go to the dog trainer's and I walk with Evan and Gabbi, I'll take the camera and I'll go ahead and try to get some good shots. Spring has sprung. Do you remember a week and a half ago, when I posted about the snow? For a reminder, see here . Yeah, well, today and yesterday it hit 82 degrees. I'm dyin. I can't take this heat - I don't like it, I don't want it ever - but especially in March. Makes me wonder what summer will really be like, and if I'll have to hibernate! It's gonna be hot again tomorrow. Ugh.
I'm tired, not from the time changing - that didn't take me any getting used to at all. I was exhausted from the clinic and I had NO trouble going to sleep early on Saturday night, and had a full day again on Sunday. I didn't sleep so well last night - rode around all day with the windows open and my allergies were killer last night. Oh, and did I mention....we had to turn the AC on??? It's CRAZY!
Sorry, I started ranting again...........
Do you ever look back on things you did in your life, and know that all the "friends" you made during that particular period, no longer want anything to do with you? It's kinda frustrating in a way, but I guess people come and go. There is no telling why they come and go, but I guess when they are meant to be there, they are, and when they aren't they are then gone. It happens...........
And then, I get home and hubby did my laundry. I've been begging him for 36 years, please, do NOT do my laundry. We had this discussion a week ago. It's not like my clothes stink - I don't do anything! But for some reason, even tho I've asked, begged, pleaded, threatened, etc, he still does my laundry. He washes in warm water (but tells me he uses cold), he doesn't hang my shirts up when they come out of the dryer, so they are always wrinkled, and no matter what happens, come a month from now, I'll go to put a shirt on and it will feel too tight and too short even tho it fit me when I bought it. Sigh. What the heck is a woman to do? I'm thinking of getting a laundry basket with a lock on it - think that'll work? Ha! bet not...............
Yeah, I guess I'm in one of those moods today. I was fine this morning...........
Anyway, not much else to report here. I got my magazine that I left behind at daughter's house last week, so I can sit and read that and dream (It's Cloth, Paper, Scissors edition of Studios and it's really cool).
Off to relax.........and decide what to make for dinner. I'm really not hungry (the heat and tired).
Take care.
Martha
Friday, March 9, 2012
The end of another busy week!
Here we are, Friday again, but, it's not the end of a busy week for me really - because there are 2 more busy days ahead of me. I have the "Nose Fun" clinic from 9-4 both Sat & Sun (unless I'm totally bored on Sat and I decide not to go back on Sun). Yes, I'm fickle.
I spent today babysitting. I love my baby grand-girl. :-)
Yesterday I took my "one day at home in a couple of weeks day," and I ended up going to visit a friend who'd gotten hurt last weekend. It was a wonderful visit. I took lots of photos of the geese that live on the little island in the middle of a pond behind her house. My new camera did a good job - but I still need to learn to bring my tri-pod and also learn some more things about my camera..........
This one cracks me up! The one goose is YELLING at the other! LOL
This one is a nice one - I did crop it and it turned out nicely. I don't do a lot to most of my photos - I like to leave them the way I took them.
The geese are also nesting. They are fighting off other geese and telling them this is MY spot!
She also has these great bird houses.
So it was a good visit.
I'm looking forward to the clinic this weekend, but trying not to have too many expectations so I don't get disappointed if it's not what I wanted it to me. I know, sounds weird, but I get myself into situations like that.
OH, I did get upstairs last night and got half of the 5" squares for one quilt up on the flannel design board! Hubby made dinner (he made dinner again tonight too) and he called me down before I could get finished. When I am finished, I'll take a pic and show you - the fabrics are SOOOO pretty! I need to get back onto Missouri Quilt Co to order the coordinating fabric for the backings! Just another thing I haven't done and will regret not doing, if I wait too long and they don't have any left!
I am also more than half way thru towel #2 on the loom. I need to get towel #2 done, so I can get #3 done and get some yarn on the loom to make some scarves to sell!
So have yourself a great weekend.
Martha
I spent today babysitting. I love my baby grand-girl. :-)
Yesterday I took my "one day at home in a couple of weeks day," and I ended up going to visit a friend who'd gotten hurt last weekend. It was a wonderful visit. I took lots of photos of the geese that live on the little island in the middle of a pond behind her house. My new camera did a good job - but I still need to learn to bring my tri-pod and also learn some more things about my camera..........
This one cracks me up! The one goose is YELLING at the other! LOL
This one is a nice one - I did crop it and it turned out nicely. I don't do a lot to most of my photos - I like to leave them the way I took them.
The geese are also nesting. They are fighting off other geese and telling them this is MY spot!
She also has these great bird houses.
I'm looking forward to the clinic this weekend, but trying not to have too many expectations so I don't get disappointed if it's not what I wanted it to me. I know, sounds weird, but I get myself into situations like that.
OH, I did get upstairs last night and got half of the 5" squares for one quilt up on the flannel design board! Hubby made dinner (he made dinner again tonight too) and he called me down before I could get finished. When I am finished, I'll take a pic and show you - the fabrics are SOOOO pretty! I need to get back onto Missouri Quilt Co to order the coordinating fabric for the backings! Just another thing I haven't done and will regret not doing, if I wait too long and they don't have any left!
I am also more than half way thru towel #2 on the loom. I need to get towel #2 done, so I can get #3 done and get some yarn on the loom to make some scarves to sell!
So have yourself a great weekend.
Martha
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Hey there!
I know, you don't even know who I am anymore. People have probably stopped reading my blog - well, that's because I haven't been blogging! lol
All is good here. We have had some wild and crazy weather. Monday, we had snow - and it snowed! We lucked out here tho, about 20 miles south of us, they actually had 10 inches!
Yesterday was Wednesday and it was 67 here and today is supposed to be 70. Crazy weather!
I finally got the website done, but have spent a lot of time tweaking it. Had to change a few things around, and I've now added another person who does beautiful drawings and sketches. Her name is Peggy and here is her blog link. Go visit - she doesn't have many followers so peek in on her and follow her progress. :-)
We have also added some doggie jewelry to our website, done by the same amazing talented person who makes the horsehair jewelry!
This pendant is going to be Evan's - when we're visiting people and doing exciting stuff like that. When we are doing nose fun and running the fields, I don't think we'll be wearing it as I don't want him to lose it. It's being gifted to me by Mitzi, for building the website and inviting her to join me. I'm also getting one for Gabbi, and that one is red. It'll look very nice on her! I will have to get a new harness and leash for her tho....hers are pink and not my favorite color and red looks SO pretty on a white doggie.
I've also taken on a part time job, working for the dog trainer in an admin position. I'm really happy about it. I almost wish I had more work like this so I could earn some extra money. Although, I don't want to be tied to the computer all the time. When I sit at the computer too long, I have a lot of sciatica pain. It's a real pain in the behind! ha ha.
I'm getting out to the trainers to walk a lot too. There are hills and at first, I had to stop a LOT just to breathe. Now I'm able to pretty much keep going at a slow pace and do the hills and flat land. We walk a large ex-horse pasture and into the woods (which isn't fenced) and the dogs love walking off leash. It's a little pack walk! It works, is great for the dogs, and great for me.
I have a new camera too - not sure if I mentioned that before. It's quite fun to play with, has 21x zoom, and I'm learning a lot. It's not the Kodak I'd hoped to get, it's a Nikon, but I'm ok with that. It takes regular batteries and not a specific battery pack. And to be honest, it's not a small camera so anything larger than 21x zoom might have been too big and bulky for me anyway. The one thing I can't get used to is the lens cap. LOL. I keep forgetting to take it off! It'll become habit tho, so I'll get it eventually.
I've ordered some beautiful fabric for making lap quilts. I can hardly wait to get started! I need to find the coordinating fabrics for the backings and order that soon too.
I need to find something to do when we're sitting in front of t.v. at night.....I feel like I'm wasting time but watching shows we've recorded from the night before, or watching shows we like to watch, is our "together" time......but I still would like to keep my hands busy!
Well, today is going to be beautiful, and I need to get it started. I have some computer work to do, a friend to visit, and grocery shopping (ick). I told hubby to save the grocery shopping for the weekend, but he's going to be babysitting Gabbi and he doesn't like to leave her alone. I told him, he can't sit in the house all weekend while I'm at the clinic! But he loves his Gabbi, and she adores him!
Have a wonderful day, a wonderful weekend, and live it like ya mean it! :-)
All is good here. We have had some wild and crazy weather. Monday, we had snow - and it snowed! We lucked out here tho, about 20 miles south of us, they actually had 10 inches!
 | |
| March - in like a lion |
I finally got the website done, but have spent a lot of time tweaking it. Had to change a few things around, and I've now added another person who does beautiful drawings and sketches. Her name is Peggy and here is her blog link. Go visit - she doesn't have many followers so peek in on her and follow her progress. :-)
We have also added some doggie jewelry to our website, done by the same amazing talented person who makes the horsehair jewelry!
 |
| Poochie Pendant - this one is mine! |
I've also taken on a part time job, working for the dog trainer in an admin position. I'm really happy about it. I almost wish I had more work like this so I could earn some extra money. Although, I don't want to be tied to the computer all the time. When I sit at the computer too long, I have a lot of sciatica pain. It's a real pain in the behind! ha ha.
I'm getting out to the trainers to walk a lot too. There are hills and at first, I had to stop a LOT just to breathe. Now I'm able to pretty much keep going at a slow pace and do the hills and flat land. We walk a large ex-horse pasture and into the woods (which isn't fenced) and the dogs love walking off leash. It's a little pack walk! It works, is great for the dogs, and great for me.
I have a new camera too - not sure if I mentioned that before. It's quite fun to play with, has 21x zoom, and I'm learning a lot. It's not the Kodak I'd hoped to get, it's a Nikon, but I'm ok with that. It takes regular batteries and not a specific battery pack. And to be honest, it's not a small camera so anything larger than 21x zoom might have been too big and bulky for me anyway. The one thing I can't get used to is the lens cap. LOL. I keep forgetting to take it off! It'll become habit tho, so I'll get it eventually.
I've ordered some beautiful fabric for making lap quilts. I can hardly wait to get started! I need to find the coordinating fabrics for the backings and order that soon too.
I need to find something to do when we're sitting in front of t.v. at night.....I feel like I'm wasting time but watching shows we've recorded from the night before, or watching shows we like to watch, is our "together" time......but I still would like to keep my hands busy!
Well, today is going to be beautiful, and I need to get it started. I have some computer work to do, a friend to visit, and grocery shopping (ick). I told hubby to save the grocery shopping for the weekend, but he's going to be babysitting Gabbi and he doesn't like to leave her alone. I told him, he can't sit in the house all weekend while I'm at the clinic! But he loves his Gabbi, and she adores him!
Have a wonderful day, a wonderful weekend, and live it like ya mean it! :-)
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