Thursday, November 8, 2012

Perspective

I've been out of touch here for awhile.  I've tried to be creative, and I've tried to keep this blog about me being creative.
The last few weeks have been rough.  I'm trying to keep my life in perspective.
The hurricane wasn't as bad here as they'd predicted.
It was horrible for the people in NY and NJ and up the coast.
This week it snowed there too.  Freezing temps, snow, and people who've lost everything - family, homes, lifetime memories.  Very sad.
I have a friend who is getting ready to put her horse down.  A very sad situation.  It's the only answer to the issues the horse is having. I really feel for her.
The elections were stressful.  I'm thankful its over, and I'm happy with the decision.
A few weeks ago my husband left a job where he was being abused (mentally) by the bosses there.  It was NOT a good situation.  Virginia is a right to work state - you can be fired, or leave a job, with only a day's notice.  The writing was on the wall that the organization was a sinking ship.  The people were setting him up for a firing.  He went in to see if he could talk to them about what was happening, and see if there was a way to work to make things better for everyone - and when there was no answer and no response, he put in his 2 week notice.  They didn't want to accept it, so he filled out the appropriate paperwork, and left that day.  I supported him, and was behind him 100%.  I don't think there was any other answer.  They still, to this day, over a month later, are using his name whenever anything goes wrong in the organization.  It's really awful.  I wish we could afford a lawyer.
The good thing is, he had 4 weeks of vacation coming to him, so we got that money.  He also had a job that lasted 3 weeks working for someone else.  So all in all, we weren't without pay for seven weeks.  That's excellent.
There is another job on the horizon, hopefully the word will come tomorrow that he got it.  Waiting has been hard.  I have to say, he's handled this all REALLY well.  It's very stressful for both of us.  I haven't handled it quite as well.
Then, my daughter was having some family issues, and that was literally breaking my heart.  The sadness was horrible, I knew she was hurt, I knew that the situation wasn't her fault, and I felt awful for her and for my grand daughter (whom I cherish more than I can ever tell you).
That seems to have resolved itself, and I hope that it doesn't happen again. That's all I'm gonna say about it.
I've been fighting sadness and depression.  I've been keeping as (creatively) active as I can.  It helps a lot.  At one point, I ran out of fiber to spin.  Sad sad sad.  I placed an order with Paradise Fibers and got 3 lbs of fiber.  I didn't spin it right away though. 
We decided to move all of my creative stuff from the spare bedroom upstairs, to the basement.  This meant that the basement had to be purged.  It's a pretty large basement, but it was FULL to the brim.  There is furniture down there.  There are tools.  There is stuff my daughter has us store for her.  There is more creative stuff down there.  The dogs pens are down there (x-pens that they stay in - each dog has one - 2 dogs - 2 x-pens).   The basement was stuffed with stuff I kept saying I wanted to sell to get money for.  I finally decided to stop being greedy.  I wanted the space more.  So, boxes and bags of stuff went to Goodwill in town.  Bags and boxes of stuff got dumped at the dump.  Other stuff got pushed to one end of the basement.
Then the move began.  It was really hard to move stuff from the 2nd floor to the basement.  My legs have gotten really weak (lack of exercise) and I am really out of shape, so doing the steps once left me breathing like I'd climbed a mountain.  That's what it felt like.  So, I would go upstairs, and I'd pack boxes, bags, and tell Dear Hubby what had to go down and in what order.  We got tables set up, the sewing machine went down, and the stuff started coming.  I started feeling quite overwhelmed!  We worked a few hours, and it helped DH pass the time while he's waiting to hear about this job.  Over all, it took about 4 days to get it all down there.  I finally decided on where things would go.  There is the fiber stuff, the sewing center, a table for photography of my products to be done on, the lamps placed, and a table for beading and card making.   I only have half the basement.  I told DH yesterday, he needs to have a shed put up, and all the other stuff (tools, etc) in the basement need to go out to the shed.  The basement is my studio now, and I want it to be a real studio.  He just looked at me and laughed.  Oh well, I tried. 
I started spinning again yesterday, after about 2 weeks of not doing any spinning.  I have to get back into the swing, and get consistent again.  I need to spin every day for at least a couple of hours. I keep thinking about getting yarns done to sell, and how my booth will look when I can finally get enough to set up a booth at a sale.  This is what motivates me.
I told my daughter I needed to see my grand daughter soon, so I asked if we could go up this weekend.  I know it throws my daughter off her schedule, but I MUST see my grand baby!!!!  We'll spend a few hours, take her to the indoor playground at the mall, and then go to Ikea (for me) and then we'll take her to lunch and just visit.  I can't wait.
Yesterday I finished a fingerless glove.  Really my first one - I love it!  Its made from my hand spun yarn.  I am working on my second one now.  They are going to be nice and warm.  Funny thing is, it's supposed to be 70 here this weekend!  So I guess I'll have to wait till next week or so to wear them.  I don't know if I'd want to make them to sell.  It's a lot of work but they are so danged cute!  They are BFL and silk blend.  I spun the yarn really fine (well, fine for me) and the yarn is very nice.  Even my friend who knits a lot told me it was nice.
So, I'm trying to hold it together, but I've had my share of meltdowns lately.  I know seeing grand baby will help.  Seeing daughter will help too.  And DH is a huge help.

Hopefully, I'll be back to posting regularly again, with some of my goodies. 
Take care, enjoy today, and live in the moment.  It's not always easy, but it's the only way to live.
Martha

3 comments:

Judee said...

Thanks for the reminder of why I don't want to move. When can I get my hands on some of your yummy yarn? Will talk tomorrow.

Knit On Regardless said...

Martha, I have followed your blog and your posts in the weaving groups on ravelry. I can relate to what you are going through. DH was fired from a toxic job in April. He spent six months without a job. It was scary but now he is in a job he loves. Hang in there. It gets better. Like you, I deal with depression and knitting and weaving keep me sane as I learn how to take good care of myself. Thanks for sharing so openly. You don't ever know who is being touched by your words.

Anna M. Branner said...

You HAVE had a crazy couple of months. Fingers crossed that hubby has since heard about the new job and that it is a perfect fit. My man has gone through so much of that too so I feel for you both. And keep up the spinning! For me it is the BEST stress buster.