Thursday, June 20, 2013

Dreamer

I've always been a dreamer.  I know that no matter what or who is involved in my dreams, some have actually come true in the past.  I have many dreams.  I'm someone who did not do well in school. I'm someone that didn't have any guidance or support growing up.  I have always found peace in working with my hands. I've done many crafts.  I'm not much of a drawing type artist, but other than that, I can be creative.
I went straight from living at home where I had to depend on my parents for supplying anything I needed from clothing and food to the things I might have been interested in doing, to getting married.  I got married right after I turned 19, and have been married for 38 years now.  I did work at a couple of points in my life, helped support the income of a military enlisted soldier with two children, one who wanted to dance and was in many competitions and needed dance supplies and photographs and competition fees and travel fees, the other who needed a lot of medical help with substance abuse and other things.  I worked in office jobs mostly, although when I worked for the vet I did enjoy that -- till I had a bone spur in my shoulder and couldn't do the cleaning or have big dogs pulling on me.  Then we moved to the country. I haven't worked since moving here over eight years ago.

I'm no spring chicken.  I've had a massive heart attack (2007) and some other medical issues.  My stamina isn't what it should be, and I've let myself go physically.


Anyway, back to the subject of dreams.  I dream about having a studio, where I can do my sewing, my spinning and weaving and other fiber arts.  Space that is clean, and light, and easy to move around in.  Space where people can come, and join together to enjoy the fiber arts and share the company of others.  Space I can sell my goods out of.

My dreams have always depended on other people and their faith in me, or their belief in me, or their support of me.  Or maybe that's an excuse.

I feel like every time I turn around, my dreams are being shot down by someone else.

I'm kind of an all or nothing gal.  I want to go full speed ahead, and if something seems to get in my way, I decide I'm not going to go for it at all.

I need to have faith in the Universe, and know that eventually, it will provide for me to have my dreams come true.

I'm just not very good at waiting...........or being patient.

I just have to remember not to give up on myself, to have faith in myself, and to go for it.......and not let anyone else get in my way...........

Well, there, now I feel better for that pep talk!

I hope whatever your dreams are, they either have come true, or will come true for you.  Never stop believing in yourself.  If you feel no one else is supporting you, just remember that the only one that really has to believe in you, is YOU.

See, I know that, it's just sometimes, I get into a funk and I have to talk myself out of it..............

Dream on
Martha