Wednesday, January 26, 2022

Accepting Mortality & Making a Decision

 Accepting mortality. Not something I’ve done easily. 

Not many people can say they’ve already died, but we’re given a second chance by being in the right place at the time of their death. I was given that chance. 

I’ve beat the odds on several occasions. In 2007, 3 days after my 51st birthday, I suffered a massive heart attack. When it was happening, my husband drove me to the small town hospital. My heart stopped, I was shocked three times, bright back to life, flown to a large hospital, a stent was placed, and I was released from the hospital a few days later. 

In 2011, I had some bleeding which was not normal. I had a total hysterectomy. A very small bit of cancer was found, which hadn’t broken through the wall of the uterus. I was not given any treatment, but had five years of follow-up appointments. I was given the all clear after that five years. 

In 2021 I had a mammogram which found a tumor. A biopsy revealed it was invasive ductal carcinoma, stage 1 grade 1. A lumpectomy was performed (I was not given the option of a single or double mastectomy, which I would have chosen if given the option). This was followed by 21 sessions of radiation. Now I’m supposed to take five years of medication to reduce the estrogen in my body, despite the fact I have no ovaries. 

The side effects of these drugs can be horrible, and from what I’ve been told, the drugs don’t guarantee cancer won’t return. In fact, the oncologist told me straight up, it WILL return, metastasize in the bones. He also said that even after five years of being “cancer free” that with this cancer, we are not declared cancer free, because it in most cases will return. 

Many women have taken the meds, and the cancer returns anyway, regardless of whether they take the meds as prescribed or not. 

I’ll be the first to admit, I can be stubborn, obstinate, and contrary. I question everything especially now that I’m older. I believe we all have to advocate for ourselves. This is where my struggle comes in. I do not want to take the meds. If I’m going to die sooner rather than later anyway, then I prefer not to suffer the side effects of a med that is only giving me maybe 50% chance of the cancer not returning while I’m taking it. I want to live the next year(s?) of my life as happily as I can. If I get sick, I’ll deal with that then. If I take this med, there’s a big chance I’ll have more than just the normal side effects from it, because I already have joint and muscle pain, depression, mood swings, hot flashes, chills, sleepless nights, and many other issues. I’m bone-on-bone in both knees, but I’m not going to waste time or money on knee replacements when cancer or heart disease or hardening of the arteries is going to take me out soon anyway. 

I’ve drastically changed my diet. I’m eating plant based food, mostly clean eating, though not organic. Can’t afford food now as it is, and organic is outrageous. $8.00 for a small package of fresh strawberries!  I’ve cut out sugar and most flour (I eat 1 slice of whole grain six seed fresh baked bread a day), I eat mostly non processed food, and I am avoiding soy. I’m losing weight, and I’m hoping my blood test next week comes back with great numbers. 

Something that has really bothered me though, is seeing a video of a young couple we follow on YT where she is not even 30 yet, eats vegan, does yoga, is thin and fit, lives clean, and she’s been diagnosed with stage three cancer. I feel totally horrible for her. She hasn’t had the chance to have kids yet so she’s going through IVF to save her eggs before chemo. She’ll need at least one more surgery. I could totally relate to her though in the respect that they had all these travel plans for this year, because they haven’t been able to travel in their van for 2 years because of this stupid pandemic. We are supposed to travel too. What impressed me is that she’s being treated by a very good cancer center in Canada, and trusts her team. That’s different for me. I am not happy with my team. I so very much wish I had sought out a bigger cancer center and second opinion before my surgery. 

My mantra lately has been, “I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”  I know how negative that sounds, though it’s not - it’s just reality, truth. If I take the meds, I’ll more than likely be physically and mentally a mess, and I could suffer from a heart attack or stroke, or brittle bones in five years. I could also have a return of the cancer, either in a breast or elsewhere. If I don’t take the meds, my heart could be safer, but I will most likely get the cancer back, most likely metastasized. I’ll have to decide what to do when/if that happens. 

Mortality and decisions…..

Sunday, January 23, 2022

I’m struggling

 I’m really struggling with making a decision. I’m supposed to start taking anti-estrogen drugs. Because of my heart attack in 2007 (where I died, but I was at the hospital, so I was shocked three times and brought back), and because I was recently diagnosed with arterial sclerosis (hardening of the arteries, which I was told is hereditary), the anti-estrogen therapy drugs can create a dangerous situation for me. I cannot take Tomoxifen, because it would probably kill me, but there is a class of drugs called aromatase inhibitors that are being recommended. I researched them, and they all could raise cholesterol, cause hardening of the arteries, and heart issues. 

I cannot even begin to tell you the PTSD I suffer about having died in the hospital once. The anxiety since then has been beyond overwhelming, and at times, has shut me down. No, I don’t take drugs for the anxiety because they all have side effects and I don’t want to become a zombie. No, I never discussed the issues with a professional either, because out here in the boonies, I feel that like it’s not the cream of the crop to choose from as far as therapists. I’ve been to my share of them. 

I feel like if I take the drugs that are recommended, I will either die of heart issues, blood clots, or something else with the heart, or I’ll end up with long term damage. 

The other thing is that these drugs have horrible side effects, like bone damage, joint pain that can be unbearable, mood swings, depression, and more. Sounds like a real party, huh?  NOT. 

I don’t like my cancer team. I’m really disappointed in the entire system. That’s part of my problem. Distrust. Anxiety. Wondering how miserable I’m going to be on the drugs. Isn’t quality of life as or more important than quantity?  Hell, I’m going to be 66 this year. I’m not ancient but I’m not young. The drugs only help prevent future cancer about 50% of the time, in about 30% of the people who can actually stick out taking the drugs for the recommended 5 years. After that, it’s a crap shoot. 

Should I take my chances with not taking the drugs, and hope I don’t get cancer again?  Or should I take a chance on taking the drugs, and suffer being miserable then dying from heart or artery issues? I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. 

The cardiologist actually said these words “the cancer will come back, and it’ll come back in the bones.”  He also said “even after five years, we don’t declare you cancer free because it will most likely come back.”  Well, isn’t that a cheery future?  NOT. 

So what the hell?  

We follow a young couple that has traveled the world in their van. They are vegans, work out, do yoga regularly, work hard, bought a cabin in Canada where they’re from and renovated it themselves during Covid. They’re young, under 30 I believe. No kids yet. She found a lump, had surgery the same month I did, only a few days later. She has a very aggressive, stage III cancer. Her journey will be very much harder than mine has been. She has faith in her team and a wonderful support system in her family. She’s going to have a very long haul. I didn’t have chemotherapy, but she will have to have that, extra surgeries, radiation, and the drugs afterward. She will lose her hair, and she has beautiful hair. I really am sad for her to have to deal with this at her age. 

Seeing that video today has made me second guess if I’m just being a baby, or a brat, or just obstinate about taking these drugs. My gut tells me not to take them. I’m going to drop dead of something eventually. I just don’t want it to be because of a drug I’m reluctant to take in the first place. 

I’m not sleeping because this decision has to be made. I have to see the surgeon next week for my follow up and she’s goin g to tell me how wrong I am for not taking the drugs. I have to see my cardiologist the week after that and discuss this with him. 

I’ve been doing whatever I can to change my lifestyle and environment. I’m no longer using plastic to store food. I’m not longer cooking in nonstick pans. I’m eating a totally plant based diet. Im not eating soy and let me tell you, finding plant based foods that don’t have soy isn’t easy if you read labels!  

I’m looking for products like shampoo and soap that doesn’t have chemicals, carcinogens, and stuff that is dangerous. I’ve given up sugar and flour and meat and fries. My tastebuds are limited so my meals are limited. I am intermittent fasting so I only eat between noon and 6 most days, though since the clocks changed in the fall, I sometimes need to eat at 11. There’s only so much food I can consume in 6 or 7 hours! I have lost weight, so I’m grateful for that. 

I don’t know if any of that will make a difference. I’m obviously trying to make my life better, but I’m battling two things here - heart disease and cancer. The cardiologist said (via his nurse) that I should do what the oncologist says to do. 

I’ve been leaning toward not taking the drugs. The problem is, if I don’t, then the cancer returns, I’ll know it was because I didn’t fight it with the drugs. However, huge chance the cancer will return anyway, drugs or no drugs, and I will be worried about my heart, and miserable from the side effects. How do I choose?

Sunday, January 16, 2022

My Cancer Journey


My journey actually began in August, 2011.  Ten years ago, I had gone through menopause, but a few years after, I had breakthrough bleeding. I had a total hysterectomy, removing the uterus and ovaries. The lab looked through all the tissue once it was removed and found a very, very small bit of cancer in the lining of the uterus. I went through five years of exams and follow-up, but I never had any chemo or radiation treatments and didn't have to take any medications. I was lucky to not have to have treatments  

Fast forward ten years later. August of 2021, during the pandemic (Covid), I had been vaccinated, boosted, and I thought I was going to have my knee replacement surgery, which was scheduled for October. I decided to get my mammogram because I had skipped it in December of 2020 because of the pandemic and all that entailed. I had been staying inside most of the time, but things with the virus seemed to be calming down a bit.  We were still wearing masks, and keeping our distance, but I figured, hospital, mammogram, minimal amount of exposure to people....get it done. 

The mammogram went smoothly...till it didn't. The person examining the images saw something....and pursued it.  I was told to return in a week, which I did. That appointment turned into a longer appointment, many uncomfortable (read painful) squishes, and an ultrasound.  That turned into a statement - "we think you have cancer."  Shit.

A week after that, I was scheduled for a biopsy. If you know anything about biopsies, they can be painless for the most part, but scary. They can also be inconclusive....I've had a few like that.  This one, however, was not. It WAS cancer. Breast cancer.  They called it Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Invasive.  Shit shit.

At the follow-up appointment, a team was pulled into the very small conference room and we (husband and I) were told I'd need surgery.  They'd do a lumpectomy, and it would be followed up with radiation and possibly chemo.  Crap!  The thought of chemo scares the crap out of me, always has. The surgery was scheduled for a couple of weeks later, September 21st.  

I did what I always do - researched.  I know medical personnel hate it when laymen research, but it's what I do no matter what the subject is that I need to know more about. Also spoke to a couple of people that I know had dealt with breast cancer. One told me she opted for a double mastectomy and never looked back.  I considered that option - however - I hadn't been GIVEN that option by the surgeon. I sent a message and asked, what about a double mastectomy?  I was told that it wasn't "necessary" and that the lumpectomy was a breast saving surgery, and that even with a double mastectomy, there was NO guarantee that the cancer wouldn't come back. No, there is none, but it leaves a hell of a lot less tissue for the cancer to come back, especially the milk ducts that were the root cause of my issues.  I wasn't happy with that answer, but I moved forward.

Surgery day came and I was an anxious mess, and really needed drugs.  It was also a mess because my blood pressure was through the roof but my heart rate was extremely low - which is a whole other story for another post. They also needed the cardiologists approval, which he was supposed to have sent to the surgeons office, but never did. Luckily, his office was upstairs from the surgery suite and the nurse caring for me literally had to run up there to get it.  There were a lot of delays, which did NOT help my anxiety.  I was grateful when they finally knocked me out. I woke up and was shuttled off to the van and we drove home. 

Healing went okay, though not painless, not horrible either. I did all the things I was told. I'm not 100% sure if they took the 2 lymph nodes, or just checked them, but I was told they were not involved.  I did lots of arm stretches to make sure that skin didn't get tight under my underarm, and I made sure that I moved around but didn't rip stitches.  I healed up pretty well.

I was initially told that I'd probably start radiation 3-5 weeks after surgery, and it would last 3 weeks (21 days). Mine didn't start till 8 weeks later.  I wasn't happy about that, but it was what it was. That's when the appointments were available.  The radiation started the week of Thanksgiving. Because of the holiday being that Thursday, and the radiation department would be closed Thursday through Sunday, I was told to come in on Sunday before Thanksgiving, and did 4 treatments Sunday - Weds. Then the weekly treatments started, Monday through Friday, till I had completed 21 treatments.  What they don't tell you is it's NOT 3 weeks -- because weekends and holidays aren't included.  Crap crap crap.  The treatments would last well into Dec. 

In good traffic, it takes about 35-45 minutes to get to the hospital.  I hated having to drive that every day.  It was exhausting, and the treatments were exhausting as well.  I was pretty inactive for those five-ish weeks, and for the week following I basically layer around trying to regain some energy.

The other things I was told; that this type of cancer needs to be followed up with anti-estrogen drugs.  The most well known and used is Tamoxifin - a very powerful drug, which has some powerful side effects, to include the possibility of heart issues, stroke, and blood clots.  One of my friends, younger than I, actually had a blood clot in her lung, and stopped taking the drug afterward. Of course, there are other side effects that a lot of women have - all the horrible side effects of menopause, but 100 times worse - hair loss, night sweats, hot flashes, nausea, excessive tiredness, dizziness, depression, headache, weight loss, constipation, and loss of sexual desire.   Oh yay.  NOT.

There are others that are used if Tamoxifin can't be used, as in my case, because I already have heart issues.  I had a massive heart attack in 2007, and if I hadn't had my husband drive me to the hospital at the time (country living - we didn't trust the rescue team to find our home, or to trust they'd know what to do), and we got there about 5 minutes before I died.  They had to shock me three times before I came back to life. They flew me in a copter to the big hospital and inserted a stent. I was lucky then because I didn’t have to have open heart surgery. Both of my older brothers have gone through bypass open heart surgery. It’s no fun! 

After all my research on the meds, and my follow up with the oncologist, there are 2 that he’d have me take. I declined for the moment. I’m going to speak to my cardiologist, who is new to me. The first time I went to see him, he suggested I start taking Repatha, because he said one of my blood tests show that I have high lipid proteins, and he said I have arterial sclerosis, better known as hardening of the arteries. He said the heart attack I suffered three days after my 51st birthday, wasn’t my fault. I’d never heard those words before!  Especially from a doctor! I have an appointment with him in February, and I’ll see what he says. I did get the Repatha, but after further research, I decided I didn’t really want to take it. It can have some pretty horrible side effects too, and actually, many of the same side effects of the anti-estrogen meds, so there’s a chance I could be a very unhealthy, sad person if I had to take both of those drugs.  Repatha is an injectable, and it stays in the system for 2 weeks, which is how often the injections are taken. I don’t want to deal with that. Upon speaking to the cardiologist’s nurse, she said he’d probably recommend me going on it, and going on the cancer meds, and if I did both, I’d probably have to have blood tests about every three weeks or monthly. Nope. I’m NOT living my life like that. 

I was told 2 very depressing things; 1.  That this type of cancer almost always returns, and when it does, it will metastasize, and usually returns in the bones. 2. That even if you’re cancer free for five years or more, they never declare you cancer free. I’ve read one study that says that it has returned 32 years after initial diagnosis. 

In other words, there’s no winning this battle. It’s not a matter of if, but when it will return, and in what part of the body. 

I’m pretty sure I will decline the cancer meds, as well as the Repatha. I’m going to die. We will all die some time. I don’t want to be more miserable physically or mentally than I already am.  If my time comes sooner rather than later,then so be it. I’ve dealt with enough in my life, and it’s not getting better, it’s getting worse. I’m pretty much done fighting. Don’t get me wrong - I’m eating more healthy than I ever have, I’m losing weight because I’m trying to, not because of treatments, and when I can, I get out and walk and try to keep moving. I’m not suicidal, and I’m not laying down and giving up. But I am not going to suffer for years and be miserable because of medications. 

If you stuck this one out, I appreciate it. This is mostly because I needed to vent, put my thoughts into writing, and not really to give info or get comments. It’s just MY journey and what I’m learning along the way. 

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Hello 2013!!!!!

Yep, it's a new year.  Hello 2013. 

This year has already started out on a positive note.  More on that in a bit.

As you know if you've read recently previous posts, I have started a new business called Spinning My Wheel Fibers.  It just felt right.  I love what I'm doing (the creating part of it anyway) and I was so hyped up at first! 
Then, the wind went out of my sales because I had spoken to a few people about going into business as a newbie to spinning.  I also had done some research/reading online and started feeling like there are a LOT of fiber artists out there - everything from people who spin and want to sell their yarns, to amazing fiber artists that create amazing works of art using all sorts of mediums, including fiber.  After all of this happening, I sort of felt like I was going to get lost in the crowd, not stand out, mainly because others told me that you have to be traditional and fit in.  Not exactly my style.  So, I listened to my gut, and shut the negative voices off in my head.

I focused on what I want to do and what I want to be and how I want my art to be created.  Yes, that's right. I focused really really hard on those 3 things.  I know I want to be different, it's just who I am.  I want to be someone who knows how to listen to the materials I'm using, and create what they want to be.  I want to stand out, be me, and be true to myself.  I know I want to create what comes from my heart, and feel my art. 

When I figured out the answers, it came - just like that - it came.  I'm going to do what feels right to me - no, my yarns won't look like they came from a mill.  No, my yarns won't be traditional and perfect.  I'm anything but traditional and perfect - why should my yarns be?  And YES, I know in my heart of hearts, there is a place for me, and my fibers, in whatever form they may take. 

Instead of starting another website just for my own things as opposed to the website where I share my art with two of my friends, I decided to start a Facebook page.  I just put it up and I have 36 Likes already!  I'm pretty happy about that - but if you want to go check it out and Like it, I'd be even happier!  :-)

My brother, bless his heart, posted my new page on his page.  Someone he knows, has been thinking about using hand spun yarns in her new venture with knitted sweaters.  This person is a Master Tailor and has been creating her own clothing for 40 years.  She is now starting this new venture with her sweaters and wants to have something original, different, non-traditional.  Well, I fit the bill!  At her request, I contacted her, and we made a deal on some yarn I already have, and she purchased it.  Whoooohoooo!!!!!
I got to use my Pay Anywhere App on my IPhone too.  First time for that. I wanted to be able to swipe a card, but seeing as this customer is in Utah, and I'm in Virginia, that wasn't going to happen.  Pay Anywhere was awesome - I called them, they told me what to do and walked me through the entire thing.  Not that I couldn't have figured it out on my own, but I was SO nervous!  Now, I'm an old pro - ha ha ha.

I look forward to my customer using my yarns, and if she's happen with it, then we will be doing business on a regular basis. 

After taking care of all of that business, I spent almost 2 hours on Paradise Fibers website to find some new fibers that I thought would interest my customer.  She's looking for natural, and also for different.  I ordered a Yak and Merino blend.  THAT should be interesting!  See, different and non-traditional.  I hope I'm good enough to spin the different fibers I ordered!   I also ordered some organic cotton and I'm anxious to spin that also.  I also suggested BFL to my customer and she hadn't heard of that before.  I told her how nice and soft it is, and pretty in it's undyed natural form.  She sounded happy about it so I ordered some of that too.  I should have some fun stuff arriving soon.  I got a good deal - spent $150.00 and got a $50 gift card to go along with it to use on my next order.  Yay!

I also spent several hours photographing yarns, processing the photos (had to do lots of digital fixing as I can't seem to get my photographs to turn out well), and a lot of time on the computer yesterday.  I know it takes a real commitment to keep a business going.  Website, social media, blogging, photographing, accounting (ICK), labeling, packaging, and on and on and on.  It's especially hard since all I really want to do, is create!  But I know in order to be successful, I also have to do all the mundane boring work that goes along with the creating..........
Here is a photo I took today.
Red and Purple Fun Yarn with sparkle!
This is some fiber I blended myself on my home made hackle.  I need to get a pic of it - it's quite the tool!  This is a test photo. I took 15 photos, and this was the best one with no editing.  I'm working with 2 desk lamps with clear bulbs and an Ott Light.  This setting on my camera was on the Food setting which allows me to change the color scheme tints - from reds to blues.  This one was light blue.  All of my other photos came out with yellow background. 
I'm going to work on making a light box, diffusing the light, and see if that helps.
If you have any suggestions for me, please let me know - I'm really having a time of getting my yarn colors to be true.  VERY frustrating!

 So the beginning of my new year has been quite adventurous and I'm pretty happy.  I have to remember to keep the vision, be true to myself, and work from my heart, and believe in myself!  I know if I can keep those things in mind, and live in the moment, I'll do well, and be happy.

So Happy New Year to my followers.  I wish for you, a joyous, prosperous, and great 2013!!!!
Thanks so much for sharing my journey,

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas!

I don't have many followers.  I haven't been religous about keeping up with my blog. But for those of you that have stuck it out with me, thank you.

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.  May all your wishes come true. 


Friday, December 21, 2012

Oh Dear

Today was going so well.  I got up early (well, 7 a.m. IS early, isn't it?) and I had a plan.  Get the cakes baked for the party tomorrow, get the birthday banner done, and then get some time to do some fun stuff.
The first cake (chocolate) came out awesome.  The second cake - yellow cake with apples in it - not so much.  They are both made in bundt pans, and I only have one, so I made the chocolate, let it cool according to directions, flipped it over on a plate, and done!  The yellow cake I followed the directions, but upon flipping it over, not so done.  Ugh.  the top (the pretty part) fell apart. 

Luckily, DH is in the store right now, and he's picking up another cake mix.  This time, I'm going to make it per the chocolate cake directions and pray it comes out well.

This little angel is the reason for the party and all the work ~
She is 2 years old today.  It's so hard to believe that she's 2 already.  She's changing so much, and she's such a joy in my life.  The party is tomorrow and it's a combo Christmas and birthday party for her. Spending time with the little angel, hugging her, watching her joy and happiness, and just knowing she's such a special child, makes my heart happy every time I get to spend time with her.  She is my anti depressant.  I just don't get to spend ENOUGH time with her! 

Time to go clean the pan for the new cake to be baked.  DH will be home soon.
Enjoy the day - and the little moments within it.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I'm Back

I've been absent.  There was a lot going on.  It's a lot better now.  Life really IS good - you just sometimes need a few bumps in the road to make you remember.

Here is my newest perspective about what's going on with my new "business."
At first, I thought, this is great!  I can sell this stuff!!!  My dreams are coming true!!
I had a lot of positive feedback about my work.  Not that I sold a lot.  I sold 3 neck warmers, no yarn.
Still haven't sold any yarn.
Of course, I haven't updated my website recently.  I was unfocused.  Updates will be coming very soon.

I've thought about starting a website with just my own work on it, and still might.  I'm trying to decide on a web host that I can afford, and that will give me more choices than the Network Solutions host I'm using now.  Any suggestions?

Making this a business - well, I've had some people give me their perspective on it.  Some good, some bad.  Someone who has been in the business for about 20 years, told me day before yesterday, you can't make money on making and selling your own yarn.  You have to buy it commercially spun, and sell it to really make money, then sell yours on the side.  Not my idea of what I want my business to be.

Someone else said, you can't start spinning, and expect to sell your first yarn.

Someone else said they wouldn't even consider buying anything spun by a new spinner, dyed by a new fiber artist, or knitted by a new knitter.  It wouldn't be worthy of their money. 

I was really getting down.  The last 24 hours was a challenge.

After processing.  After talking to dear hubby.  After an entire 24 hours of wondering if I've made a huge mistake, I finally realized..................I don't have to do it by anyone else's standards.  If someone doesn't want to buy my stuff because I'm new at it, so be it.  If someone else thinks that I can't make enough money doing it my way, ok.  Maybe she'll be right, maybe not - after all, a lot has changed in 20 years since she started.

If my stuff is good enough to knit by me, then it's good enough for anyone else to knit.
If it's good enough that I've sold 3 pieces now, then it's good enough to wear.
And if I enjoy - did you read that?  ENJOY - doing it, then it's totally worth it.

I had lost the joy of what this is supposed to be about.  No, I won't be giving everything away.  BUT - I will gladly sell it for what it's worth.  Or I'll have to hold onto it.  I have faith that my things are NICE.  They will sell when they are meant to.

I got a bit overwhelmed.  I started caring about what other people thought.  Then I remembered, it's not up to them what I do with my life, how I live it, or what I believe.  It's only ME that matters.  Well, and of course DH too.  :-)

This is the next project.  Let me tell you, the colors are even better in real life.  I cannot wait to get started on spinning this up.  The colors are SO rich, and so yummy, it's going to be a joy to spin this. 

 This is some yarn I sent to my cousin in CA.  It's really lovely, sparkly, and soft. I hope she likes it (really) and that she makes something nice from it (although, living in CA, she probably doesn't need merino wool).  Have fun Judee!  Merry Christmas.  (no worries, she's already received it - so no spoiler)

I have new ideas, I want to be creative, original, fun, and special.  I just have to drag it outta me.  lol

So I will be spending more time here, showing off what I have to share.
I will be building a new website for myself only.
I have my Pay Anywhere credit card reader. 
I have sold 3 items so far and plan on selling many more.  Including my yarns.
The more love I put into making it, the better it'll be.
Meanwhile, I'll be fitting some doctor appointments in between.  The next couple of weeks are gonna be quite busy. After that, life should go back to a semblance of normal - whatever that is!

Merry Christmas.
Happy Holidays.
Happy New Year.
Rock on!