Monday, February 15, 2016

Realizations............

I always amaze myself at the things I realize....and that I keep realizing these things over and over again, or all of a sudden something that should have dawned on me years ago, are just now being realized.

A Patrick Lose design I did several years ago when I started quilting
My newest realization is that I enjoy being able to stay in bed in the morning when it's cold outside, and I don't feel guilty about it.  I'm in my 60th year, my birthday being May 19th.  I've had an interesting history with medical issues.  I've had my share of stress throughout my life.  I really feel like I'm done with all of that stuff.  I don't need to stress.  At this point, whatever happens, happens.  Either I'll wake up tomorrow, or I won't.  If I want to stay in bed in the morning, that's okay, and I won't feel guilty or apologize for it.

It was extremely windy this past weekend.  I love flags when whipped by wind, especially with the blue sky behind them.
It snowed overnight again.  A very pretty snow, that came down at different times in different ways - big fluffy flakes, small fine flakes, and soon, this evening, it's going to come down as icy sleet, then overnight and tomorrow, it'll all be gone when the heavy rain hits.  This has been the weirdest winter I think I ever remember.  I have to say, I enjoy the snow because it makes the inside of the house brighter, and it's so much better than staring out the windows at gray, drab, brown, dead grass and leaves and bare trees.....  However, I'm NOT looking forward to the mud this is all going to result in.

I enjoy change.  I dream of traveling the U.S. in a very comfortable but not huge R.V. with our dogs.  However, having 2 horses and a cat that sheds a LOT, and doesn't love our dogs, it isn't something that is going to happen - probably ever.  It doesn't help that the other person in our marriage is not fond of change, and worries and frets over every little thing - like what if the R.V. breaks down???  I can't control his anxiety, and I can't just take off without him.  Therefore, this dream of mine will never happen.

Part of the King size quilt top I'm working on.
I also dream of living somewhere that is very art oriented....where art in the community is appreciated and accepted, and purchased by people who visit or live nearby.  Somewhere not in Virginia.  Live in a little cottage by the ocean, have a small shop where I sell my goods, and visit with customers, and have my studio so I can work all day every day.  However, this will also never happen.

I've learned to accept where I am, and do what I'm inspired to do.

I've looked at tons of homes for sale, hoping that at some point, we can move into a home with more space, where I can have every craft I'm interested in doing in one room, within arm's reach, and when I'm inspired to weave, I can walk to my loom and sit down and be drenched in natural light, and weave to my heart's content, or when I'm inspired to sew, I can walk up to my mannequin and drape fabric over it, and make a new shirt or coat or whatever.  

American Eagle
 Somewhere that has beautiful land nearby to take beautiful photographs, or cities that are within a great drive and I can shop or capture interesting people with my camera.

Bunny!
However, as I look at homes online, I realize, there are few that I would be comfortable moving into. That is probably because I am looking at homes within a certain price range.   Because I'm not rich.  

We have spoken of remodeling the kitchen....however, the other half, doesn't really see why we have to spend that type of money on a kitchen.  He didn't see why we had to have a new shower put in either, but it has improved my attitude about the house and being here long term.  The kitchen remodel would help that too. As would having the front porch screened in (I know the cat would love going out there - he's getting older, and has been an indoor cat since I rescued him, but always wants the windows open and always wants to be outside).   Expanding the deck is also in the plan - from the front porch/driveway area, along the side of the house, to the back of the house.  If it were up to me, and we had the money, I'd certainly put a deck on the back of the house as well. It would give the dogs somewhere to potty when the weather is bad, as they are both small dogs and don't like being out in the muck and mud and wet and rain and snow.  I would also love to sit on the back deck and stare off into space, or sun myself in nicer weather.  It's a beautiful view out that way.....

Sometimes I just get so antsy for change, that I have to do things to change things up IN the house.  So I work on my studio/office.  Or I rearrange the basement and reorganize everything down there.  Or I clean the closets.  Whatever it takes to get the wanderlust out of my system....


In another month or so, Spring will be on the way.  For now, it's winter, and I have a roast that is needing to go in the oven and I just realized, if I don't get it done soon, it won't be done in time for dinner!  So off I go.  Accept the change!

Always thankful,
Martha