Tuesday, March 1, 2016

An Artist.....Struggling

I don't consider myself a struggling artist because I don't consider myself an artist who is taken seriously.
I am an artist, who has trouble taking myself seriously, and who struggles.   I struggle with self confidence.  I struggle with the idea of being a "real" artist.  I struggle with the fact that I don't specialize in one media, or one type of artistry.  I jump hither and yon, wondering what to do next, thinking up all sorts of crazy ideas, jumping from this project, to buying supplies for the next project, when I already have 10 projects in the making.

It's like being a Jack of All Trades, Master of None.  Sigh.....................................

It's like photography - I love the photo above. I know, it could use some work.  Heck, it's an iPhone photo.  But this photo shows me the horse and the person at work, the relaxed nature of both, and the luck that we have, of having a super duper farrier (we only trim feet, we don't shoe).

I haven't taken any classes for photography (or most of my other hobbies/work-related stuff I do).  I could get SO much better, if I put time, energy, and money, into classes.  But I don't.

Today I went out.  I needed to be out.  It was 70 degrees, and sunny.  It's March 1st.  It was 70 degrees!  How sweet!  It's not going to last......oops, look, squirrel!  Yep, that's how my brain works.  Okay, so I went out.  I really didn't have a set plan of where to go or what to do.  I did a couple of things then went to the quilt shop.  Yeah, I didn't NEED to go there.  However, I woke up thinking about some fabric I'd seen in another quilt shop, but had walked out without...........silly me.  So I thought, I'll just check it out......

Well, they had some - and I mean - some - of the fabric.  I took the end of the bolt (a bit over 2 yds) of one of them, and I got 2 yards of another, and a yard of the third.  I also found some perfect variegated thread to use when quilting the mug rugs I hope to make out of this fabric.  I paid good money for good quality quilting fabric to make mug rugs.  Am I nuts?????   I should be making a quilt, a wall hanging, something pretty out of this.  But, I love this fabric and thought it would make beautiful mug rugs.  However, I have to remember to practice making a mug rug out of other fabric first because I haven't made a mug rug before.  I have all these ideas inside my head.....

 I haven't woven in a few days....or maybe by now, it's been a week?  I was on such a roll.  Now, not so much.

I was trying out some key fob ideas.  Some of them came out okay.  Some, not so much.  I'm learning.  I'm learning what works, what doesn't.  It's tough to watch something you want to do very badly, not come out. All I think about is wasted supplies, then I get frustrated and feel like a failure.  Today, I decided, it's a learning experience.   I'm NOT a failure.  I'm learning.   So I gave myself a break, and tried a couple of things, and found out what works and what doesn't.   Cotton belting/webbing works.  Nylon, however, does NOT work.

It helps if the webbing is actually straight to begin with.  That off-white webbing on top - yeah, it's NOT straight by any means and getting it straight while being "floated" in the hoop - meaning, nothing is tying it down  - is a PITA!  Good Lord!  So it is not going anywhere.  I will try again with some smaller letters.....  I did give the purple one to a friend who has dealt with breast cancer.  I wanted to do the cross, ribbon and heart in different colors, but I messed up with the sewing order, and blew it.  She liked it anyway.  At some point, I hope to get good enough to sell them.  I don't know how long that's going to take me though!

I also struggle with knowing when enough is enough, as well as not knowing when to keep forging ahead.  It's complicated.

I have a quilt on the wall that is ready to be sewn.  I also have the king size quilt that is all pieced, but without a long arm machine to quilt it on, I am stuck (in my head) about just sewing straight lines on it, on my machine.  That's the decision I've come to.  Now, I have to move the big machine downstairs to the basement, onto the heavy dining table we have down there, so I can support and spread out the rest of the quilt.  I just can't get motivated to DO it.  More sighing.

So, I need a good, swift kick in the behind to get these projects finished, or started, as the case may be.

At some point, I want to be productive enough to sell.

At this point, I'm not - yet.

Off to feed the dogs, make our dinner, shut the windows because a cold front will be coming through tonight, bringing rain and colder temps.  Today it was 70 degrees and just gorgeous.  Tomorrow, not so much.

Thanks for stopping by.
Take care,

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