Friday, March 6, 2015

Disconnected

This morning is yet another morning of the last few, that I've awakened with a feeling of disconnect.  There is a lot going on in my little brain - that's not anything new.  The thoughts I'm having aren't all that new either, but I can usually shake them off within a day or two.  Not so much this time.  That's ok.  Being reflective is a good thing for me.  I just know that anyone that knows me, can tell what's going on with one look into my face.  That part, I really wish I could hide.  I am who I am, and there's no hiding anything.

When I'm feeling this way, I tend to either veg a lot, or be creative. I've been doing both.

If you remember back a few months  almost a year ago, I said I was involved in the Journey to the Golden Fleece course.  This course sort of opened up a lot of feelings for me, and it also taught me about following my heart, not my brain.  The heart says do "this" and the brain says, "no one will ever like it."  This thinking, along with some other things that happened, led me to the year I'm having this year - all about finding Martha.     This has been good in most ways, but it has also made me realize some things I've been stuffing inside.  Which then makes me face those stuffed things.  Which isn't easy............more on this down the page.

Yesterday we had a snowstorm blow through.  Thor.  Thor was interesting.  Thor started out with mild temps and rain, then turned to freezing rain as the temps dropped, and finally, dumped about six inches of snow on us.  The previous snow had just melted and gone away, literally, the day before Thor arrived.

The ground is white, and pristine looking.  It won't stay this way, but for now, it's absolutely beautiful.  Yes, I'm crazy.  I love the look of fresh fallen snow.  That's probably because I don't live in a snow belt, and haven't had feet upon feet of snow fall on me, like my friends and family in New England have had......on the other hand, watching the snow fall and blow around and the peacefulness it causes, is magical to me.  I have no other way of explaining it.

So after hanging out on the computer for awhile, and having a couple of conversations, I decided to do some weaving.  I had done a wall hanging, my first with weaving, a few days ago, because I needed to finish up the Journey course.   During the course, I'd fall behind, then do a couple of modules at once, creating the yarn I needed for those modules.  Then I'd fall behind again, and catch up the same way.  It was my creative process, so I told myself, however I got through it, was what it was going to be.  I made some pretty plain yarn, and some really fancy, colorful yarn, and I  made corespun yarn with wire, and I made yarn with colorful feathers sticking out all over.

I was going to weave it on the circular loom that we got to work on during the course, but because my yarn had some special features, I couldn't see myself tearing it apart by pulling it in a circle and possibly damaging some of the yarn, and I figured it would also cause me to struggle, and I didn't want to struggle while weaving.  I decided to weave it on my 15" Cricket loom which was warped, and I had enough black cotton warp left on it, to weave this wall hanging.

©Martha Manigross
This wall hanging used each of the yarns I made during the Journey course, and I wove them in all in a row.  Although I feel like no one else would understand the cohesiveness of this piece, that's not what this is about, and I'm extremely happy with it.  The weird thing is, it felt SO good to be weaving a wall hanging......like....somehow, it is meant to be that I do this.  It's been a long time coming.  Something I realized just around the same time I completed this, is that it brought me back to high school, when I did an art piece in macrame'.  I was told at the time, the piece was accepted into an art exhibit that would be photographed, put in a slideshow, to be shown in schools across the country.  I never got the piece back.  That makes me sad to not have it, and no one else really ever knew it happened, and I never got to see the slideshow.......so who knows what really happened to it.

At any rate, I felt grounded to have made this piece.  Which led me to making another piece yesterday during Thor......

©Martha Manigross
I call this piece, roots.

I'll be making more wall hangings.  Which means I'll be spinning more yarn, to get the textures and colors I'm looking for. It was very calming and meaningful for me to do this wall hanging and there are MANY more in me to do.

Well, that's it for today.  I have much more I could say, but I have PT this morning and many things to get done.

Take care,
Martha

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