Everyone seems so happy to start anew. It's funny though, the older I get, the less I like time marching on. There are so many things I want to do yet. I'm getting older every year. Why do people wish away the time they've spent living? I think a lot of it has to do with the death experience I had in 2007. I haven't looked at life, or death, the same since then.
A friend of mine recently lost her mom, then her husband, all the week before Christmas. Very sad. I have another friend that lost her husband a few years ago, the day after Christmas. And another friend that lost her husband on Valentines day.
My husband's mother is in the hospital. We are praying that she makes it through open heart surgery on Monday. She's not in the best of health to begin with. She has diabetes, and the hospital can't seem to get it under control. I can't figure that one out for my life......
So many people I know, have suffered with one or another type of flu this season also. It is running rampant, and I don't want to get it. I have SO much to do this month. When I go out in public, I wash my hands. They are dry and chapped. Not good when working with fiber as the fiber gets hung up on all the dry bits. I use lotion. Just not enough.
We haven't had any snow here this season. Lots and lots of rain. It's okay, though. The ground needs it. The wells need it. The farmers need it. If I can't have snow at Christmas, I can do without snow at all. We haven't had the unbearable, below-freezing temps we had last year either. We've had a few days here and there, of 30s, but not endless freezing. Thank goodness!
As I look out my office window, and I see the squirrels running around, the birds flitting from tree to tree, and the gray skies and dead leaves on the oaks, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for another day of life. I'm thankful that my husband cares about me. I'm thankful I'm able to do the things I love, like spinning, weaving, and sitting around and watching t.v. when it's just that kind of day. I'm thankful for the beautiful grand daughters I get to see now and then. I'm thankful for seasons. I'm thankful that I'm alive. After a heart attack that killed me, and cancer a couple of years ago, I'm just thankful to be here.
New Year's resolutions? No. I stopped making them. I am, however, going to try hard to improve my life. It's going to consist of more exercise, because I don't like feeling out of breath, or like my legs can't carry me anymore. It's also going to consist of getting together with friends more often. I've also promised myself, to be better to myself. I spend a lot of energy caring about other people, and not caring about myself as much as I should. I'm going to do the things I love to do, and not put them off because of money or guilt. (hence, signing up for the Saori weaving class)
I'm also going to stop offering advice to others. They don't appreciate it, so why bother? I'm going to just take care of myself, and not worry that others don't consider my advice valuable.
I'm going to stop judging. That's a really difficult one because I think that it's just human nature. But I'm going to do my best, not to judge anyone else.
The hardest one of all? I'm going to stop being so open and honest. Because really, it doesn't get me anywhere. It just causes me all sorts of problems. If I can just keep my mouth shut, my thoughts to myself, and work on ME, then I don't have to worry about what anyone else thinks or does.
It's a lot, isn't it? These are things I work on all the time. This year, I'm going to put more effort into being positive. I'm going to ENJOY my business, instead of worrying about it all the time. I'm going to do what I can to amp it up....not that I have exactly figured out what that will consist of....yet.
I worked on this weaving last week. I actually enjoyed the process. It made me want to warp the loom again. This little Cricket loom can only hold so much fabric once it's woven, so I'm doing several pieces about 70" long. Since most of it is cotton, with some other stuff mixed in, it will shrink considerably. When it does, it'll be perfect to make another jacket from.
I used a couple of techniques I know how to use. One is clasped weft. That's where you see more than one color of yarn in the rows.
Yes, the edges are uneven. Yes, there is a large mix of stuff in there - cotton, wool, cotton blends. That is the way it's supposed to be. There are no weaving police. This is Saori style weaving. Free form. From the heart. It made me happy to play and experiment, and not have to count treadling (which you can't do on a Rigid Heddle loom since there are no treadles). I didn't have to worry about perfect edges, although I was sort of careful because I do want to sew it into a garment eventually.
It came out SO nicely, I couldn't wait to warp my loom again, and go for it again. I'll probably need about 3 pieces this long, to make the jacket I want. Because I'm not skinny. And because my loom is only so wide. And because this fabric WILL shrink.
Here's a close up of what some of the weaving looks like.....
The most fun was laying bits of fiber and hand-spun yarn in the weft, then continuing to weave. I love the effects!
This jacket is going to end up being a spring/summer jacket, because of the light colors. I have NO idea why I went with that. Therefore, I'll just have to weave another jacket for myself, for Fall and Winter. :D I'm good with that!
I really can't wait to order and receive my Saori loom. I'm SO excited to be going to class this weekend and trying the looms she has. I am pretty sure I know which one I want already, but I'll try the different models, just to be sure....
I can hardly wait to take the class on Saturday and Sunday. One of my goals this year is to let go of the guilt, going to this class is going to cause me. The guilt comes from leaving Husband behind. It's not that he can't get along without me. He cooks. He cleans. He takes care of the property. He takes care of the horses and the dogs and cat. He's very capable. The thing is, he is prone to anxiety attacks, especially when we're not together. There are times he's fine with it. Then there are times, he's not so good with it. The guilt I carry, that prevents me from doing things I love to do, or things I want to experience, has held me back for years. This year, I'm going to do what I need to, in order to fulfill myself, and I know it my heart, he'll be okay. It'll be good for both of us to have that experience and slight separations that will happen, with me going to things I want to do.
Poor Husband doesn't have much as far as hobbies. I keep trying to get him to find some, but they just don't exist for him. Maybe at some point, he will figure out what he wants to do with his free time. I keep teasing him, because he keeps saying he can't wait to retire (4 more years, 4 more years), but he has NO hobbies. He will go nuts - heck - he goes nuts not knowing what to do on a weekend now! He'll figure it out though. I know he will. I'm going to have faith in it.
That's about it from me. Time for me to go to my P.T. exercises (UGH) and take a shower. Then Gabbi is getting a bath and a haircut. She's all scraggly again. The groomer didn't really do very well on her the last time, and they really messed up poor Evan, so he'll never go back. I just gotta suck it up, and do it as often as I can, myself.
Have a great week. I'll try to be back with more progress on the above project!