Friday, February 21, 2014

My Heart....

While I'm enjoying the Journey to the Golden Fleece (see that post here), it has made me think, and thinking is what I do a LOT of.  I took a test this morning (on FB so who knows the reilability of it) about right brain/left brain.  It said I use both sides equally.  Well, that explains a lot....it's why I hold these arguements inside my head over absolutely EVERYTHING!  I'm such a mess some days that I get in my own way, and then I can't create anything because I can't decide what to do, or I think that if I want to do that, then I would be using something that I should be selling (a supply), and then I would lose money because I used it....and what if what I use it for doesn't sell?  Boy, do I get complicated. 

All that to say, I've come to realize, I don't use my heart, I use my head.....WAY too much!

I'm going to work on changing that.  It's not bad to use you head a lot, but when it gets in the way of DOING, then yeah, it's something I need to get out of.  Get out of my head.  Get into my heart.  That's what I'm going to do. 

My heart actually stopped back in 2007.  Luckily, by the time it stopped, we were already at the hospital.  I don't remember anything happening once I'd died.  No white light.  No angels.  No Satan.  No anything.  Just darkness.  Blackness.  Then back to life and light and the living. 

A lot has happened to me since then, including the fact that I never really coped with having a heart attack that killed me.  I've never really dealt with the fact I had it, or the fact that I died.

I have, however, had this NEED to do everything I want to do.  My poor loving hubby has been SO good to me.  He really changed.  I think it scared him beyond belief, and I believe he hasn't dealt with that either....

We just kept going, moving through life, trying to make the best of things, but always being cautious.

I hate being cautious.

I gave up horseback riding and gave up my horse because I was tired of being nervous every time I got on my horse, and I was tired of hitting the ground.

I did find fiber, finally.  Yeah, not the kind you eat.  The kind you play with.  Wool, in particular.  I NEVER thought I'd ever have anything to do with wool!  LOL

Now, one of my favorite yarns is in a photograph in my header on my blog.

I love playing with the fiber.  Dyeing the fiber; blending the fiber; adding shiny stuff to the fiber; making the fiber everything from lumpy bumpy, to traditional looking yarn.  

I bought a small loom because I have this NEED to make some wall hangings.  I haven't done it yet though.....I keep holding back, wondering if it will come out how I see it in my brain.

Yeah, there's the brain getting in the way again.

I colored in my Journey coloring book.  Yep, we get to color.  It's FUN.  The first page is a sail boat, that is taking us on our journey - sailing away, or sailing to?  Hmm, that just occurred to me.....

Anyway, then I colored the Mod 1 shield.  I was really into it with my pencils, then I noticed a few colored markers in my box....so used some of those too.  I like it but I chose weird color combos.  Don't know why and I'm not going to over-think it.  But, I did notice, more after I was done, that there is a small heart, dead center of the shield.  Yep, there's that heart.  Reminding me, once again, that I need to follow my heart...........

I tend to live in the future.  I refuse to live in my past.  It wasn't all bad, but it wasn't the greatest either.  I forget to LIVE in the NOW.  I forget to LOVE what I'm doing NOW.  I'm always thinking about what else I can do, even while I'm creating.  Funny thing is, when I'm spinning, I hardly do that.  I pretty much Zen out.  That's something that doesn't happen when doing any other craft.  I could literally spin all day, every day - well, except that the arthritis in my thumb joints don't really let me......

The Journey has already taught me that I'm not paying attention to NOW, and I'm not following my heart.

Oh, I so wonder, where else this Journey will take me.

I'm off to gather the things I will make my first yarn out of.  Then, I will let it keep me company in the house, around me, whatever I'm doing, for a few days.  I will contemplate as I have been doing for the last week, and I will start spinning next week at some point.

Meanwhile, I'm off to take care of some things around here and leave in about an hour for my massage, which I'm SO looking forward to..........

Take the time to enjoy what you are doing, right NOW.  Live in today. Love what you do.  Be who you are!

Take care,
Martha

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

What's Happening!

A lot has been going on around here - mostly in my head.  Hahahaha.  There's ALWAYS a lot going on in there!
I previously said that I'd joined a group called The Journey To the Golden Fleece*.  It's a journey that is created for fiber folk, that want to explore their journey into the fibery goodness of their lives.   I haven't been into fiber for that long.  It has been interesting this far, and I'm excited to be involved, and continue on.

At first,  I was a bit nervous, and not really sure I wanted to delve into this.  I'd realized, from watching and reading what those that had gone before me in the first offering of this course (for lack of a better term), and many of them seemed to have gone into their pasts - their personal pasts, emotional pasts, not just their creative pasts.  If there is one thing I'm sure of, it's that I never want to go into my past.  Been there, done that, don't have any desire to return to it, and don't need to.  What's done is done!  Going back, would only cause me pain and depression, and I try not to do anything that brings either of those two feelings into my life!

We received our Mod 1 on Friday.  I was excited, but I soon got a glazed over look on my face when reading.  I was SURE I'd done the wrong thing, getting involved in this.  From Friday to Tuesday (today), I was sure that I would struggle with this.....

This morning I got up, and I was in a good mood.  I decided I would be working on some inventory this morning, then I would move on to re-reading my Mod 1 of the Journey*.   I did just that - I worked on (and accomplished) quite a bit of the inventory, and then I picked up my Journey* booklet and started re-reading.  It all started to make sense and fall into place!  I would make this about my creative journey, not about my personal life journey - after all, they ARE two separate things to me.  My creative journey is happy, and my personal journey has it's ups and downs. 

I've come to realize that even though I'm exceptionally happy with my creative journey, and where I am right now working with wool and spinning and dyeing, I am not where I envision myself.....  Right now, I'm basically a retailer - I buy items at wholesale, and I sell them retail.  That is somewhat a fun part of what I do and want to do, as I do like retail and I LOVE helping others accomplish what they want to do.  For example, someone found me on ETSY and asked if I minded a local pickup.  Heck No!  I don't mind that at all!   She and I are about 15 miles from each other.  Out here in the country, that's spittin distance!  LOL.  She makes soap, and is starting to make felted soap, so she's looking for specific colors.  I can help with that!

On the other hand, I really want to find that artist side of me.  I want to spin more, weave more, make wall hangings, make art.  I have much inspiration in my life.  My own photography makes me happy - and I photograph the things I love.....like this: 

Leo, the cat.
It was 54 degrees the day after a bad storm, see the snow in the background?  My cat is beautiful.  He's a terror though.  He terrorizes the 2 small dogs we have.  He is not a cuddler unless it's totally on HIS terms.  He is, a C.A.T.  True sense of the word.  He was born feral and I adopted him from the veterinary clinic I worked for.  He's 12 now.  So hard to believe......

Anyway, there are many other photos I love.  I dream of them being transferred into my interpretation of wall hangings.....I just need to get out of my head, and get moving with my heart and hands!

This journey is going to be amazing for me, I feel, and I'm excited to continue on.

Stay tuned....oh, and I don't have my wheel yet - I think it's getting shipped on Friday.  I hope it doesn't take another entire week to get here.

Take care,
Martha

*Journey To The Golden Fleece

Thursday, February 13, 2014

I'm a New Dealer!

I am a new Spinolution dealer!  YES!  I'm very happy.  I've been wanting to become a dealer in spinning wheels since last year.  I contacted many companies.  Part of the problem is that a lot of them require a store front.  Unfortunately, I haven't got one - yet.  Some day.  The other problem is, some of them require you to be a certain distance away from other dealers of the same wheels.  I have two very established studios within 35 miles of me - one North West and one South.  Besides, it takes a good sized investment. And you don't always get a good return on the money - what you pay and what you sell it for, isn't that far different.

I've looked at and tried the Spinolution wheels.  I've done a lot of reading (like I do with anything I am thinking of delving into).  There are many people who love them, and some who hate them.  They are unique.  And they are made in the good ole' U.S.A.!!!!!

If you notice the treadles - not your traditional treadling system.  These treadles are pushed with your toes.  It takes very little effort to spin this wheel.  The treadles are also a good distance apart from each other - which means you don't have to sit with your knees crammed together.  Great for the hips, knees, and ankles.

Do you see that ginormous bobbin?  Yeah, this wheel (the Mach III) comes standard with the 8 ounce bobbins, but the very awesome cool part of this is, they also make an Over Sized Art Yarn bobbin and let me tell you - it's BIG - a whopping 32 ounces!  That's TWO (2) pounds! 

This wheel has great ratios and can be used for everything from lace weight to the biggest chunky yarn you want to make!  How versatile is that?

No, I haven't gotten my wheel yet - but it's on it's way.  I can hardly wait.  I've used my Lendrum for about a year and a half now, and it's okay.  But I usually feel like I'm struggling with it - either with the treadling (my legs get tired), or with the tension - I'm always fiddling somehow.

If you're interested in the Spinolution wheels, you can find their website here.  Or, you can contact me.  The specials aren't listed on the website so if you're interested in more information, contact me by commenting on this post.

On other news, we had a snow storm today. 
Small dogs, big snow
I was really hoping I'd get through this winter and not have snow.  For me, that's a HUGE statement.  I don't know what it is, but this year, I just don't want to deal with the cold or snow or anything.  I am SO ready to move.  Of course, for me, that's not unusual.  Nine years in one place is long enough for me. I do love our little farm and having the horses here at home.  But I think know I'm ready for a change.  I'd love to move to California.  I want to get an RV and visit every state in the lower 49.  But - that's not feasible.  I have my business I'm trying to build, and I have a husband who's allowing me (by supporting me financially) to do this business.  He's working.  He's making money.  I'm working.  I'm spending the money....if I gave up EVERYTHING else, I'd be able to save for an RV and the traveling.  He can work from anywhere there is a signal - even on the road.  I love to drive, and I wouldn't mind driving while he worked!  I would at least be able to stop at every stop I wanted to.  lol

Meanwhile, I did some spinning today.  I've not been spinning regularly and I need to get some yarns done before the show in April.



On the left is the roving, hand dyed by me. It's Merino and Silk.  On the right is the single.  I have 3 of these 4 ounce rovings and I'm deciding if I want to spin them all myself, or spin one, and use it as an example of what the others could look like. 


This very fine (for me) spinning is time consuming and makes me a bit crazy.  I love my thicker, chunkier yarns.  But I want to make some "traditional" yarns for the show to see if they sell.  I spun for a few hours with a few breaks.

Now it's almost dinner time for us and the dogs.  So I'll get moving for now.  If you have any questions about the wheels, please feel free to contact me.  If you want to visit my shop (always love visitors), go to www.etsy.com/shop/Spinningmywheelfiber  

Thanks for checking in and thanks for reading.
Take care,
Martha