Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Loving Myself

This is an interesting subject for me.  At 58 years old, I'm realizing, I haven't ever loved myself.  Not at any time in my life.

Interestingly enough, I had a few things happen this week, that all seem to push me in a certain direction.  I'm trying to listen to the Universe, and not push back, and not force anything.

I am signed up for a few different sources of positive reinforcement.  One is call The Daily Om.  One I received this week was the following:

It can be easy sometimes to buy into the illusion of our own insignificance. We may see large corporations or institutions, celebrities or successful people in our community, and compare ourselves to them, thinking that their fame or material power affirm how little our own lives amount to. But nothing could be further from the truth. Every single one of us matters—tremendously. Our very existence affects countless people in countless ways. And because we are each essentially a microcosm of the larger universe, our internal experiences affect the whole of life more than we could ever imagine. The world simply could not exist as it does now if you, or any one of us, were not in it. 

Perhaps you are aware that on some level you believe your life does not matter. If this thought resonates within you, maybe it is time to explore why you feel this way. You may have formed self-rejecting or belittling beliefs as a child to keep yourself safe or to help you make sense of confusing situations. You may have felt unseen or unheard and decided that there was something wrong with you, rather than with the attention span of the people around you. Spend some time looking into where these feelings of insignificance first took root, and see what changes you might be able to make in your life and in your heart. 

This one belief in your own unimportance could be limiting you and impacting your life in enormous ways. When you shift your perceptions around your own ability to affect your life and impact the world, you may discover wonderful parts of yourself that you had long ago forgotten. There may even be exciting new parts that you never even knew existed. When you gain awareness of how much your life really does matter, new sources of energy can emerge and your sense of connection with the world is renewed. 

I found this quite interesting, considering the information I was already trying to process.....

I also get The Daily Om Taurus Horoscope, and this week was also the same theme:

Loving Who You Are
Taurus Daily Horoscope
If you're feeling low today, you may be inclined to focus on externals to improve your mood. New possessions, changes to your physical appearance, or moving to a different home might seem like effective methods to make you feel better about yourself. However, you can improve your mood and cultivate your self-worth by looking within rather than outward. Instead of comparing yourself to your friends, relatives, coworkers, or neighbors, take stock of your individual, positive inner qualities and the talents that make you unique. If you see areas of yourself you wish to improve, concentrate on creating a plan of improvement and applaud yourself for taking that step. As you seek your worth today, try to focus on the goodness you've been blessed with rather than anything you might lack.

Cultivating your self-worth can help you avoid the temptation to look to external sources to define your personal value. Finding the beauty that is your soul makes comparing yourself to others entirely unnecessary. You learn that you are worthy of blessings and esteem regardless of how others may act or what they say. As you discover your own value, you begin to see that your worth is entirely independent of how you measure up to others or whether or not you succeed in the various areas of your life. Missteps are simply a part of the growth process, especially when you derive your value from within. Allow yourself time for reflection so you can gain a stronger sense of your inner worth today, and you'll discover that your personal value is a built-in guarantee.

All about self worth.  Once again, it hits home with me. 

A couple of other things happened.  One was that my massage therapist, whom I adore for more than her ability to put my body back where it belongs every month, decided not to go with a spa, but instead, realized that she was resigning herself to working with the spa just to not disappoint the owner/friend/client she was working with. Instead, she recognized she was, in fact, resigning herself, and wasn't happy about it.  She has decided not to go with the spa person, and to once again, have her own space for her Yoga studio. It's all falling into place for her, and she's so happy about it now!  I love when people I admire for having their own business, can be successful and happy.  

I also had a discussion with a person that bought the local yarn shop after the original owner passed away a few months ago.  I've actually spoken to a few shop owners (not all fiber related) and they all say how difficult it is.  There are busy times, and quiet times, and it's so scary when it's quiet.  

There have also been some interesting posts on Facebook that have shown me that there are very successful people in the fiber business.  They work all week to get their work done, then they post that they've got all this stuff listed, and BAM!  They sell out.  I wish I could figure out what it is they do, that makes them so freaking successful!!!!!!

One thing I keep reminding myself is that I have a difficult time during the winter months, shorter daylight hours, and colder weather, with feeling inspired and feeling like I need to keep on top of the business.  It's really difficult for me to think that my business is going to grow, when in reality, it's only gotten slower this year.  Very frustrating for me.  I just don't know how to get myself out there so I am one of those people that are more successful.  

So I'm off to try to reinvent myself, remind myself I'm worthy and worthwhile, and to love myself and what I do.  I know that when all this falls into place, I will be successful......but OMG it's difficult to change thinking that has gone on for 58 years.  LOL

Be safe.
Take care,
Martha

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